Captain Morgan raids poorest Americans
Posted June 29th, 2010 by rafael
The highest rates of childhood poverty in the United States are in the Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico, where half of all children under age 5 live below the poverty line. The Territories also share America’s highest unemployment rates, facing deficits so large that Puerto Rico alone has laid off at least 17,000 public employees. Considering the island’s population of 4 million, that’s the equivalent of giving a pink slip to everybody in Dallas.
Yet in the face of crushing poverty in both places, Congress is about to permit $2.7 billion in federal assistance be diverted instead to a British liquor conglomerate, as an incentive to move the Captain Morgan rum distillery from one Territory to the other.
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Rum Issue Dictionary
DIAGEOTEERING [dē-aj-ee-oh-teer-ring] verb 1.When $2.7 billion in federal funds intended for citizens of the U.S. Territories get diverted to the coffers of British company, Diageo PLC, makers of Captain Morgan Rum. 2. U.S. Virgin Islands Gov. John P. deJongh‘s reelection campaign fundraising plan. 3. Washington lobbyists cash cow. [Synonyms: Rangelism, Molassesticity, Piratedorartion]
RANGELISM [rang-guhl-iz-uhm] noun 1.Congressman Charlie Rangel’s misuse of the Chairmanship’s privileges to harm the Puerto Rican economy by blocking H.R. 2122. 2. Signature by Members of the Congressional Black Caucus to support Congresswoman Donna Christensen’s USVI deal to create 40 low paying jobs for a $2.7 billion giveaway to British company Diageo, PLC. [Synonyms: Diageoteering, Molassesticity, Piratedorartion]
MOLASSESTICITY [muh-las-iz-stis-i-tee] noun 1. Congressional irresponsibility by allowing British company Diageo PLC’s lobbyist to manipulate $2.7 billion in federal funds. 2. Sticky situation if rum cover-over program is used to guarantee the corporate profits of British company Diageo, PLC and Fortune Brands instead of capping at 10%. 3. Sweet deal for international-owned brands; sour deal for domestic brands. [Synonyms: Diageoteering, Rangelism, Piratedorartion]
PIRATEDORATION [pahy-ruht-duh-rey-shuhn] noun 1. Act of omission by Congress. 2. To allow Pirate Captain Morgan Rum to steal $2.7 billion from American citizens of the US Territories and give it to British company Diageo, PLC. 3. Captain Morgan Rum’s feeling of euphoria when it contributes to members of USVI reelection campaign funds. 4. British company Diageo PLC spills rum (Caribbean Oil) all over the pristine waters of the Caribbean using American tax dollars, of course. [Synonyms: Diageoteering, Rangelism, Molassesticity]